The contours of child custody in New Jersey and nationally have changed materially when compared with those that marked the status quo a generation and more ago.
Back “then” (we’re really not talking that long ago) the suspicions of many divorcing husbands and fathers that they were getting the short end of the dissolution stick were easily borne out.
We point out on our website at the proven Somerville Law Office of Rajeh A. Saadeh, for example, that divorcing dads these days uniformly have equal say along with mothers concerning decisions that importantly impact their kids. Shared custody is a commonplace. And it is no longer infrequently the case that a father is awarded primary physical custody, with a children’s mother having visitation rights. None of those outcomes were common in previous generations.
So, there has unquestionably been progress – material and long necessary – in the divorce realm, which has progressively led to fairer outcomes in legions of cases.
Still, some men chafe. They feel wounded following divorce, especially when their decoupling has led to limited time with the kids via a circumscribed visitation schedule, financial dislocation and additional factors. A recent article on fathers’ positive post-marital adjustments notes that life after marriage can be hard “for a multitude of reasons,” and that dads need to buck up to meet the challenges and move beyond them.
Indeed, it is imperative they do so, stresses the advocacy organization Good Men Project. The author of the above project piece stresses that the proverbial post-tunnel light truly is brighter for virtually all divorced dads who purposely take the time to heal, plan and amicably co-parent with exes.
When they strive to do so, being “fully present” in their children’s lives becomes the norm rather than an exception.