If you are thinking about divorce, it may seem as if nothing else has been on your mind. You may go back and forth between whether it is the right decision, or you may feel steadfast in your decision and wonder how best to proceed. In either case, you want to handle the situation as delicately as possible. After all, you do not want to bring up divorce if you do not actually want one, but if you do want one, you want your spouse to know you are serious.
Because of the emotions that can come into play — both yours and your spouse’s — you may feel uncertain about how to tell your spouse that you want a divorce. Your decision may not stem from a place of dislike or anger toward your spouse, so you do not want to cause any unnecessary hurt. However, if you want to end the marriage, telling your spouse yourself may be the best way to go.
Considering your options
Having a face-to-face conversation may work best for some, but remember, it is not for everyone. If you are in an abusive situation or otherwise fear that your decision to divorce will result in your spouse trying to harm you, having the divorce papers served to your spouse by an outside party may be wise. In the event that you and your spouse have an amicable relationship still, having the discussion together may make for any easier legal case in the long run.
Expecting an emotional response
Telling your spouse you want a divorce will likely be emotional for both of you. If you expect that your spouse has no idea that the news is coming, it may be best to express the news as gently as possible. It is also important to keep in mind that you cannot control how your spouse reacts. While you may have had time to come to terms with the situation because you made the decision to end your marriage, the news could come as a considerable shock to your spouse.
Getting matters in order
Before you break the news to your spouse, you may want to start preparing for divorce. The information you obtain may help you determine whether ending the marriage is what you truly want. It may be helpful throughout this process to discuss with a knowledgeable attorney your options and how New Jersey state laws may affect your case.