Your decision to end your marriage will impact your children, and this is why you want to do everything possible to protect them from unnecessary emotional and mental harm. One way many New Jersey parents accomplish this is by creating custody and visitation plans that make sense for their families. There is no one-size-fits-all custody plan, which means you get to create one that makes the most sense for your unique family.
When creating your custody plan, it may be helpful to consider how your divorce will affect your kids. You know them better than anyone, and you understand what they will need to feel loved and supported during this difficult time. Studies find that divorce affects boys and girls in different ways, and knowing this may help you make practical choices that will suit your family for years to come.
Boys versus girls
Every child is different, and you know that your children may all have different reactions to the news of your divorce. However, boys and girls may be more prone to the following reactions during this process:
- Girls may lose their focus at school, and they may not be as motivated to do well with their academics. Studies also find that a divorce may actually speed up puberty, which may be a physiological response to stress. Girls may also feel the need to act more grown-up and mature.
- Boys may display changes in their behavior, including acting more defiantly. They may be more dependent on their parents. It is especially important for boys for their fathers to remain active and involved in their lives during a divorce.
When you take the time to understand what your children are going through, it is more likely you will provide them with a custody and visitation plan that is beneficial for all of you.
It’s challenging to make good choices during divorce on your own, especially when you are feeling sad, angry or confused. When it comes to planning your kids’ futures, you may benefit from keeping your kids’ needs and interests above how you feel in the moment. Your emotions are not always the best indicators of what will truly be best long term. The right perspective can help you pursue terms that will shield your children from unnecessary emotional and mental harm.