Helpful psychology tips for co-parents

One of the most significant challenges faced by parents after the finalization of a divorce is following the terms of a custody and visitation order. There are many difficult emotions associated with a divorce, and you may find that it is difficult to share your kids with the other parent. It is not always easy to set your own feelings aside, but this may be what you have to do in order to make your custody and visitation order work smoothly.

The difficult emotions you are experiencing after your divorce are normal. However, you do not want the temporary feelings you are having to negatively impact your kids. It may be helpful for you to focus on the practical things you can do to reduce your own stress and make your co-parenting arrangement work smoothly. Ultimately, this will benefit every member of your New Jersey family.

Give your kids stability and security

The intent of a joint custody arrangement is to provide children with regular access to parents after a divorce is final. This provides a sense of stability and security for the kids, which is critical to their mental health after a significant transition in their lives. However, if the parents cannot co-parent together peacefully, it could be harmful to the children. Some practical ways you can take the guesswork out of joint custody and reduce complications include the following:

• Have an established system for communicating with the other parent, whether it is a messaging app or other means. Don’t use your kids as messengers.
• Recognize your own difficult emotions, but do not use them as an excuse to act out or treat your children poorly.
• Work together with the other parent to make important decisions for the children, even if you do not always see eye-to-eye.
• Make transitions between homes as easy as possible for your children, and have an established system in place.

These are all things you can do that will help your co-parenting arrangement work well for years to come. By focusing on the kids, you may find that it is easier to work together for their benefit. Over time, it will be easier and less emotional to co-parent together. Before you begin your co-parenting journey, you will first need to ensure the terms of your final order are reasonable and sustainable.