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Bird nesting can be an effective method of co-parenting

On Behalf of | Apr 25, 2024 | Divorce

When faced with co-parenting after a divorce, many New Jersey parents may worry about how their kids will adjust to the upcoming life changes. To have a healthy co-parenting relationship, you must focus on doing what’s best for the children, even if it may be inconvenient for yourself or your ex. When you put the kids first and consider their feelings before making decisions, you can maintain a relationship with your ex that will benefit your children’s wellbeing. If you want to provide a more stable, albeit non-traditional living situation, you may consider bird nesting as an option.

How bird nesting works

Bird nesting is a unique approach to co-parenting where you maintain one family home that the children always live in. The parents are the ones who alternate staying in the home. For some families, this works out well, especially if you don’t want to sell the family home. Bird nesting is often thought of as a temporary arrangement that allows both parents time to find more permanent housing.

The key to being successful at bird nesting is to have some ground rules. If you can work with your ex to establish some rules for the home, you’ll both be happier in this type of living situation. The rules should include details on cleaning and maintaining the home, guidelines regarding visits from future significant others, and anything else that could prevent disagreements in the future.

The downside of bird nesting

Bird nesting can be a costly method of co-parenting because of maintaining up to three separate homes. If you have an apartment that you stay in when not with the children and your ex maintains a separate apartment, you’re essentially running three households. With the issue of cost aside, you must also consider your family dynamic. If your divorce was contentious and you don’t get along well with your ex, bird nesting may not be the best choice.

When sharing a home with your ex, even if you’re not there at the same time, you must be able to communicate. It’s important to decide ahead of time who will cover the costs of the home and what expenses you will share or divide. Carefully weigh the options before choosing the bird nesting approach as it isn’t ideal for every co-parenting situation.

Legal advice

It’s always wise to seek legal advice when dealing with matters like divorce and co-parenting. Going through a divorce means that your entire family will face some significant changes. You likely have questions about how best to approach your divorce and co-parenting relationship. Our knowledgeable New Jersey family law attorneys can provide you with answers, help and solutions.